Essays
Section B Part 2 of the November Exam requires you to write an essay. You should be training yourself to write a solid response in 30 minutes. There are also 6 criteria you should be thinking about when answering; these include
a) Understanding and appropriate use of historical terms, concepts, commentaries and interpretations.
b) Application of evidence to support your argument
c) Knowledge of the commencement, ongoing development and/or consolidation of the revolution
d) Knowledge of key events, factors, individuals and/or groups influencing the revolution and its consolidation
e) Analysis of the revolutionary struggle and the creation of a new society
f) Evaluation of changes and continuities
b) Application of evidence to support your argument
c) Knowledge of the commencement, ongoing development and/or consolidation of the revolution
d) Knowledge of key events, factors, individuals and/or groups influencing the revolution and its consolidation
e) Analysis of the revolutionary struggle and the creation of a new society
f) Evaluation of changes and continuities
The essay will be the more difficult aspect of the exam, as if you break your time down you have 30 minutes to write your response. Examiners will be looking for 3 pages, so use your time wisely and DO NOT waste time on other responses.
The essay question (in the exam) composes of 2 parts; a prompt (generally a quote from a leading figure or a historian) and the essay question itself. Make sure you engage with both in your answer. Your response should evaluate how much you agree with the question and the quote. High answers have arguments, so therefore DO NOT narrate or give an account of what happened in the time frame, structure your paragraphs into different arguments. Your paragraphs could be structured on events or historical themes.
ESSAY STRUCTURE:
1. Introduction:
The introduction is a crucial part to your essay. It outlines what your essay is about. It should open with your contention (your main argument), a 1-2 sentence statement which directly engages with the essay question. This should follow with outlining of your major arguments; this could be done through signposting each of your points. Finally summarise your introduction with 1 sentence which links back to your contention.
At no point should your contention be a copy of the essay question (put it in your own words) and avoid a vague contention (such as "there were many reasons for the failures of War Communism").
2. Paragraphs:
Paragraph structure is outlined below (in the infamous McEssay Burger format). Topic Sentences are important, they should outline the aspect of your argument which you will deal with in this paragraph. You should then explain this in detail and continually support with historical evidence. Historical quotes MUST NOT be used instead of arguments or evidence, but rather to support your own arguments. You must also have a concluding remark which links back to the essay question (avoid linking forward like in english as this can become 'clunky.')
The essay question (in the exam) composes of 2 parts; a prompt (generally a quote from a leading figure or a historian) and the essay question itself. Make sure you engage with both in your answer. Your response should evaluate how much you agree with the question and the quote. High answers have arguments, so therefore DO NOT narrate or give an account of what happened in the time frame, structure your paragraphs into different arguments. Your paragraphs could be structured on events or historical themes.
ESSAY STRUCTURE:
1. Introduction:
The introduction is a crucial part to your essay. It outlines what your essay is about. It should open with your contention (your main argument), a 1-2 sentence statement which directly engages with the essay question. This should follow with outlining of your major arguments; this could be done through signposting each of your points. Finally summarise your introduction with 1 sentence which links back to your contention.
At no point should your contention be a copy of the essay question (put it in your own words) and avoid a vague contention (such as "there were many reasons for the failures of War Communism").
2. Paragraphs:
Paragraph structure is outlined below (in the infamous McEssay Burger format). Topic Sentences are important, they should outline the aspect of your argument which you will deal with in this paragraph. You should then explain this in detail and continually support with historical evidence. Historical quotes MUST NOT be used instead of arguments or evidence, but rather to support your own arguments. You must also have a concluding remark which links back to the essay question (avoid linking forward like in english as this can become 'clunky.')
In other words, your history essay paragraph structure follows a TEEC structure (Topic Sentence, Explanation, Evidence, Concluding Sentence)
The slight exception to this is your rebuttal paragraph, which should be the last of your arguments. In this paragraph, you highlight other historical arguments that could be made, and then using evidence refute these claims.
Structure: TIRC
Topic Sentence
Identification of Other Arguments:
Rebuttal: Begin with however, and then explain
Concluding Sentence.
3. Conclusion:
A conclusion is not a direct copy of your introduction; on a brief look it does appear similar, but when thoroughly observed it is different. Like in the McEssay burger, a burger with no bottom bun with fall apart. Your conclusion is the finish to your essay and can be the hero or villain of your response. It must summarise what you have been arguing. To do this, reword your contention. Secondly, summarise each of your main arguments (paragraphs) with a piece of evidence per argument made (but only evidence you used in your paragraphs - you cannot introduce any new content in a conclusion. Finally a powerful last sentence which captures your essay in a nut shell to finish!
Quotes from examiners reports!
- The best essays referred closely to the terms in the question and used a range of evidence to support their interpretation. Too often, historians’ views were used in place of evidence rather than as an opinion to support the evidence. Students should supply their own factual evidence and confirm it with an historian’s viewpoint rather than only use the viewpoint. The highest scoring essays used specific factual evidence such as statistics, quotes, dates, names, policies or events to support all their points. Weaker responses tended to narrate, describing anything about the revolution, often without clear relevance.
-There were still too many students who explored aspects of the regime before the revolution. Students must focus their response on the new society rather than construct a comparison between the old regime and the new society.
-The essays often lacked references to the key terms, and introductions were often poor with little attempt to outline a viewpoint. Paragraphing was also missing from too many essays; responses should be appropriately structured and contain topic sentences.
-Often students did not engage in a debate but simply agreed or disagreed with the question. Assessors look for analysis, not just a narrative. In addition, the prompt was generally not used. Students are encouraged to consider the prompt and engage with it in the context of the question.
-The best essays clearly and accurately named different groups of people rather than using the generalised labels of ‘the people’, ‘the rich’, ‘the poor’, or classifying all those who were not nobility as peasants. Weak responses tended to narrate, describing anything about the revolution, often without clear relevance.
SAMPLE ESSAY & INVESTIGATION OF STRUCTURE
Sample Question:
Nicholas the II was a weak leader but the main problem was that the entire system of autocracy and very nature of the social structure was fundamentally flawed. Provide evidence of your own evaluation of the character of Tsar Nicholas II, the wider tsarist political system and social structure of privilege.
Sample Introduction:
The slight exception to this is your rebuttal paragraph, which should be the last of your arguments. In this paragraph, you highlight other historical arguments that could be made, and then using evidence refute these claims.
Structure: TIRC
Topic Sentence
Identification of Other Arguments:
Rebuttal: Begin with however, and then explain
Concluding Sentence.
3. Conclusion:
A conclusion is not a direct copy of your introduction; on a brief look it does appear similar, but when thoroughly observed it is different. Like in the McEssay burger, a burger with no bottom bun with fall apart. Your conclusion is the finish to your essay and can be the hero or villain of your response. It must summarise what you have been arguing. To do this, reword your contention. Secondly, summarise each of your main arguments (paragraphs) with a piece of evidence per argument made (but only evidence you used in your paragraphs - you cannot introduce any new content in a conclusion. Finally a powerful last sentence which captures your essay in a nut shell to finish!
Quotes from examiners reports!
- The best essays referred closely to the terms in the question and used a range of evidence to support their interpretation. Too often, historians’ views were used in place of evidence rather than as an opinion to support the evidence. Students should supply their own factual evidence and confirm it with an historian’s viewpoint rather than only use the viewpoint. The highest scoring essays used specific factual evidence such as statistics, quotes, dates, names, policies or events to support all their points. Weaker responses tended to narrate, describing anything about the revolution, often without clear relevance.
-There were still too many students who explored aspects of the regime before the revolution. Students must focus their response on the new society rather than construct a comparison between the old regime and the new society.
-The essays often lacked references to the key terms, and introductions were often poor with little attempt to outline a viewpoint. Paragraphing was also missing from too many essays; responses should be appropriately structured and contain topic sentences.
-Often students did not engage in a debate but simply agreed or disagreed with the question. Assessors look for analysis, not just a narrative. In addition, the prompt was generally not used. Students are encouraged to consider the prompt and engage with it in the context of the question.
-The best essays clearly and accurately named different groups of people rather than using the generalised labels of ‘the people’, ‘the rich’, ‘the poor’, or classifying all those who were not nobility as peasants. Weak responses tended to narrate, describing anything about the revolution, often without clear relevance.
SAMPLE ESSAY & INVESTIGATION OF STRUCTURE
Sample Question:
Nicholas the II was a weak leader but the main problem was that the entire system of autocracy and very nature of the social structure was fundamentally flawed. Provide evidence of your own evaluation of the character of Tsar Nicholas II, the wider tsarist political system and social structure of privilege.
Sample Introduction:
Practice Essays
Attempt the essays below keeping in mind the criteria listed above:
Russia:
1) Historian Orlando Figes has stated that Lenin's Bolshevik Party "set out with high ideals, only to fins out later that the outcome was quite different." To what extent had the original ideals of the Bolshevik Party been altered by 1924? Use evidence to support your answer.
2) Historian Richard Pipes has argued that "all Russians suffered after October 1917." Discuss the extent as to whether people really benefited in the new society. Provide evidence to support your answer.
3) On the Kronstadt uprising, historian Orlando Figes stated that "the Bolsheviks had turned into tyrants." To what extent had the new regime achieved its aim of improving life for the Russian people? Use evidence to support your answer.
4) Trotsky is quoted in saying that "conscious and tempered workers educated for the most part by the party of Lenin" led the Revolution. To what extent did the Bolsheviks share power between 1917 and 1924. Use evidence to support your answer.
Your textbook on page 247 contains another 10 sample essay questions (extended response) for you to complete.
China:
1) Mao stated that China "will belong to the community of peace-loving and freedom-loving nations." Discuss to what extent the CCP livd up to this. Use evidence to support your answer.
2) Mao stated in 1949 that "China had stood up." DIscuss to what extent changes made in China had fulfilled the ideals of the Communist Revolution in China?
3) Historian Harrison Salisbury stated that "Mao became a new emperor and the Chinese People suffered as much as they had before the Communists came to power. Discuss to what extent the Chinese people suffered under control of the new regime.
4) "The Communists learned on the Long March that the key to success was mass support. After gaining control in 1949 the CCP used this model repeatedly but the results were disastrous." Do you agree? Use evidence to support your answer.
Russia:
1) Historian Orlando Figes has stated that Lenin's Bolshevik Party "set out with high ideals, only to fins out later that the outcome was quite different." To what extent had the original ideals of the Bolshevik Party been altered by 1924? Use evidence to support your answer.
2) Historian Richard Pipes has argued that "all Russians suffered after October 1917." Discuss the extent as to whether people really benefited in the new society. Provide evidence to support your answer.
3) On the Kronstadt uprising, historian Orlando Figes stated that "the Bolsheviks had turned into tyrants." To what extent had the new regime achieved its aim of improving life for the Russian people? Use evidence to support your answer.
4) Trotsky is quoted in saying that "conscious and tempered workers educated for the most part by the party of Lenin" led the Revolution. To what extent did the Bolsheviks share power between 1917 and 1924. Use evidence to support your answer.
Your textbook on page 247 contains another 10 sample essay questions (extended response) for you to complete.
China:
1) Mao stated that China "will belong to the community of peace-loving and freedom-loving nations." Discuss to what extent the CCP livd up to this. Use evidence to support your answer.
2) Mao stated in 1949 that "China had stood up." DIscuss to what extent changes made in China had fulfilled the ideals of the Communist Revolution in China?
3) Historian Harrison Salisbury stated that "Mao became a new emperor and the Chinese People suffered as much as they had before the Communists came to power. Discuss to what extent the Chinese people suffered under control of the new regime.
4) "The Communists learned on the Long March that the key to success was mass support. After gaining control in 1949 the CCP used this model repeatedly but the results were disastrous." Do you agree? Use evidence to support your answer.